Buying a woman a sex toy is a bold move, and there's a pretty wide margin of error if you're not careful. Giving her a huge double-ended dildo with five different shaped attachments will probably scare her to death, while a fake tongue may gross her out. And if you give her a life-sized male blow-up doll, forget it — she may even dump you.
If you want to surprise her and not have it backfire on you, your best bet is to read on. Here’s how to make finding it, buying it and giving it to her a much more seamless and pleasurable process.
Determining Her Toy Of Choice
The easiest way to know what she would like is to ask her, but if you are buying her a surprise gift, you will have to make an educated guess.
Whatever your woman’s overall preferences, they are likely to vary with her mood, so you need to choose a sex toy that will suit the range of her aroused occasions. Your safest bet is to buy something that provides pleasure to all zones at various speeds that offer different levels of pressure.
Here are three basic toys you can’t go wrong with:
The Gigi Rechargeable Vibrator From LeLo
LeLo toys are really well-made, fabulous toys, but we especially recommend the GiGi Rechargeable Vibrator for her. Unlike everything else on this list, which is designed for clitoral stimulation, this G-spot toy is extra silky and programmed to make her feel insane inside. It comes in a variety of colors, is made from medical-grade, waterproof silicone with about an hour charge life. Plenty of time.
We Vibe 3
Whenever I do sex toy lists for couples, I always recommend the We Vibe 3. This U-shaped vibrator is designed for you and your girl to enjoy together. Like all new things, it might feel awkward at first, but once you hit your stride this toy will have her satisfied every single time. Insert the wings into her to stimulate the outside and in while you get down, or you can use it on one another individually. All sex toys are created with a part and position in mind, but really you can do what the hell you want with them, so just go with what feels right
Jimmy Jane Form 2 Vibrator
Form 2 is a killer toy by Jimmy Jane. I swear by this vibrator. Mimicking the head of the infamous “Rabbit” (without the giant body to match), the Form 2 has two motors in the ear-like extensions that vibe on contact. It’s waterproof with a one-button press to change to a variety of speeds and pulses. Form 2 is great for clitoral and labia play when you are spending time on her. It’s a really fun and easy toy to use that I highly recommend for her first toy.
Adam & Eve Vibrating Bullet
If you are wary of your girl’s reaction to buying her a sex toy, I highly recommend kicking it off with the A&E Vibrating Bullet. This tiny, egg-shaped vibrator is powerful yet discreet, and not intimidating in size or shape. At 1 inch wide and 2.5 inches long, this vibrator can stay in her purse or in her nightstand without notice. This is a great beginner toy for clitoral stimulation that can be used when she is solo or incorporated into your partnership.
Adam & Eve Wand Massager
The Adam & Eve Wand Massager is like the iPhone of sex toys — everyone’s life will be easier with one than without. This strong vibrator has dual speeds, a long handle for easy maneuvering, a comfortable and gentle spring head, and comes with the promise of longer battery life than other wands. Yes, it’s a bigger machine (which makes it easy to operate for both you and her), but the head is the genius part here and never fails with clitoral stimulation. Yeah, your iPhone tells you how to get from Point A to Point B, but the Wand Massager will get her off in ways she never imagined possible.
Adam & Eve My First Jack Rabbit
Everyone knows about The Rabbit. It’s kind of the original sex toy for women, but this is the most updated version: newer, smarter, more intuitive for her body. The great feature about the Jack Rabbit Vibrator is its silicon bunny ears, also known as the clitoral stimulators. The bunny ears vibrate to a variable level chosen by her, and are strategically placed so the shaft can be inside her while the ears sit right on her clit. The Jack Rabbit also has a pouch of crunching beads, which are at the base of the shaft, to stimulate the entrance of her vagina, which supposedly has the highest concentration of nerve endings in the whole area, after the clitoris. This three-in-one toy is guaranteed to work on any type of lady. She can just use the bunny ears, or put the whole thing to good use — it all works.
Inner Desire Love Egg
Not unlike the bullet, the Inner Desire Love Egg is a mini vibrator with a hand-held controller that varies in speed and textured vibrations. Meant for clitoral use (again, you can really do whatever you want with sex toys) this is a great beginner toy that is also waterproof. It’s also super easy to clean and packs up small enough to take anywhere.
Ultimate G-Spot Wand
Although this G-spot toy looks a little scary at first (it’s glowing yellow, curved, and big) it is one of the top toys. If your girl has expressed interest in exploring with this type of toy, we highly recommend it. It’s multi-speed and multi-function abilities have five different pulses. The shaft is super flexible, easy to clean and also, each Ultimate G-Spot Wand comes with three sleeves that slip over the wand’s vibrating head to maximize stimulation. This toy is also great for anal play. A more advanced, adventurous toy.
Time To Go Shopping: Finding And Buying It
Going into a sex shop can be slightly intimidating, but remember that the staff there are usually very open people who want to help you. It’s their job and they like talking about sex and sex toys. It’s their bread and butter, dude. The great thing about going into a store is getting great advice and recommendations from the staff, like the best accompanying items and lube (great for enhancing pleasure).
If you're too weirded out to go into the store, then the Internet is basically your best friend. These days, you can buy pretty much anything online, and sex toys are no exception. We have linked to places to find all the above toys, but follow the side bars and see what else is out there. You never know what you might find. Plus, most sex stores offer savings with online purchases.
Don’t forget the lube
Sex toys are generally more enjoyable, and safer, when used with lube. Lube will ensure that the toy does what it’s supposed to do, without causing any extra, unnecessary friction. We have some helpful recommendations that you can cruise through in our handy guide to lubricants. Also, sex toys must be cleaned regularly. You wash your dishes after every use, now don’t you?
Bigger is not better
When buying a phallic dildo or vibrator for a girl, don’t assume that bigger is better. In fact, it's often the opposite. Because most of their orgasmic stimulation comes from the clitoris, many women prefer to masturbate with something very penis-like in length, girth and texture, if not smaller, like the popular "lady finger" vibe. For this reason, bullets and other curved vibrators are best suited to work with her body to give her the ultimate pleasure.
If you don't know her too well and are guessing what she will like, stay on the safe side and avoid huge double-ended dildos, strap-ons and anything anal. The safest bets are to keep it to well-known erogenous zones.
Silicon, rubber, metal, or glass
You don’t want to go overboard with the first sex toy; keep this one simple, subtle and functional. Silicon and rubber have the most life-like feel to them and are always a good choice. They are also very safe, and warm up under a hot tap easily.
Metal is a bad choice because it is quite cold to start off with, though its firmness may be the selling point. Metal can look quite attractive too, and since sex toys aren’t the most gorgeous things on earth, it’s a plus if they’re not ugly.
There are some very cool-looking glass dildos out there. Glass offers a very smooth sensation, and can be cooled or heated to give her some variety.
Opting for the 'Joe-blow average' toy is your best bet. Stick to the basics. If in doubt, go with silicon. Silicon is neither too soft nor too hard, and is durable and hygienic, making it an excellent choice for sex toys.
Quality vs. cost
Don’t scrimp and save on this toy because you want quality. Having a toy not work or fall to bits at the crucial moment is going to make you look like a cheapie — not exactly the sexy look you were going for!
Presenting it to her
There are a number of ways to do this. If you want it to be a surprise gift, the classiest thing you can do is have it wrapped and mailed straight to her with a sexy note. If you want to use it with her, you could put it under the pillow and give it to her on the spur of the moment, though this approach could have negative consequences if, for some reason, she has a problem with your purchase.
If you have any doubt about the reception you will receive, opt for the safety of the shore: Warn her, and give it to her in a non-sexual situation so she doesn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable. Make it funny or sexy — in other words, make it special in some way. It is highly likely that upon receiving your thoughtful and sexy gift, she will not be able to stop smiling and giggling.
She'll turn it on and get turned on
Buying your girlfriend a sex toy doesn’t have to be a traumatising experience. Finding a good shop, whether online or on the high street, makes life a lot easier. The staff will be educated, the packaging will be discreet, and the toy will go the distance and handle the punishment dished out to it. It takes balls for a man to buy his woman a sex toy without her input, so give yourself a pat on the back for being so brave and courageous — and let her enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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